I am trying to prepare for divorcing my wife of 4 years. She doesn’t know. We have 2 kids, of which i want custody. She has a history of mental illness which has resulted in our kids school (private) asking us to leave. She’s a disinterested mother.
I need to know what i should do. How should i prepare? I can afford a good nanny and legal fees, i need to win custody of the kids.
I would like to know how many other fathers are a victim of this garbage. I was told I had 5 minutes to leave my home one night because my now ex wife wanted me out of her life and my daughters life. It’s bad enough to be a father and fight for custody but now your faced with a domestic abuse charge. I know full well that women are told to do this but the scum of the earth and by that I mean women’s advocates and the court systems.
I was a very good husband and father and NEVER abused either my wife or daughter and never would have. Since that day I was told to pay close to $500 a month in child support and I was also ordered to attend an anger mgmt class!! Yeah thats right the court ordered me to attend not her. If I don’t attend I need to have a third party watch me when I see my daughter. This is sick.
I spend more time with my daughter than my ex wife ever did and now she is living with some other man that I have never met with my daughter. We as fathers need to make a lot of noise over this. I know full well I am not alone. If it takes me a lifetime to do something I will. I need others to be a part of this. We as fathers are in this together. I know many men who just give up and by doing so this may very well happen to our sons and grandsons and so on.
Please feel free to write me if you have any input or advice other than to give up. I will never even think about giving up NEVER. I need more people to join and we shall make a change.
My ex has billed me for childcare expenses paid to our 12 year old son. I am non-custodial parent and feel that this seems a bit absurd. Can anyone give some guidance on how to deal with this. Under the terms of our agreement I am responsible for 50% of childcare cosats as defined by New York State law. Any help would be appreciated.
Well for one thing you could demand to see the child care’s license (I dont think your 12yr old son has one). If the ex does not provide one then she would be in trouble from that aspect. take the whole matter out of family court’s hands and into a different arena. If you can do that then you have an equal chance.
If you are billed for child care services from your son expect to inspect the ‘facilities’ and all legal requirements to be a daycare center. go from that aspect.
Also, I do not know about New York, but in Oregon 12year olds are to old to be claimed for child care. good luck.
Dont really know what your particular reasons for wanting a divorce are but, the most important thing to remember are your children. They will feel that the break up is their fault no matter how much you or your spouse tell them they are not. The Courts will look at you and your spouse to determine whom should have custody.
Its important (not to bad mouth the other parent).
The Court would look at this as you are trying to alienate the other parent from the children and will blow up in your face. IM NOT A LAWYER. I just happen to be going through a nasty divorce/custody action in which that has happened to( being aleinated from my children). Always consult with your attorney, no matter how small the idea course of action may seem.
I would also suggest looking into a parenting course. NOT saying you are a bad parent, the Court will look at this as your are preparing for and expect the trasition from a two parent household to a single parent household to be a trying one. The course which I attend have activities for the children to jion in also. Also, always reinforce that both you and your spouse love your children. Anything positive should be approved of by the Court.
First, I am very glad to have found this website! Thank you for having me.
I am the wife of a man who has had extreme problems with child support and visitation with his children. Let me make this as brief as possible.
Back when the divorce was final (about ten years ago), my husband was to pay $2500.00 in child support for two children (even had to apply for 5000 loan from 5000LoanHelp company). He had to continually go back to court to get it reduced to a decent amount (and did) but in the meantime he accumulated arrearages (I’m guesstimating but they are in the $20,000 range – how is this possible?).
She (the ex-wife) made it continually difficult for him to see his children (on Sunday visitation) and a fight would always ensue. After a few years of battling, he moved from California to Arkansas. In Arkansas, his child support was reduced to $200.00 a month and he always pays. However, she refuses to give my husband a phone number and address so he can contact his children. He hasn’t seen them nor talked with them on the telephone in five years.
On top of this, we found out she moved to Arizona but he is still paying the child support via Arkansas to the California courts.
My husband has been told over and over that the mother has all of the rights no matter what the visitation rights agreement is but if he doesn’t pay child support, he goes to jail.
Is there ANYTHING we can do to get the arrearages wiped off of his record and connect him with his children?
Thanks for having this website. I have a question about child support in the state of Michigan. I currently have joint custody of my children and pay child support.
I am proud to pay my child support even though it is more than what it should be based on the amount of time I’m with my kids.
Is this video useful?
My ex wife now has possession of the kids, but it was not always that way. When I first filed for divorce she moved to Idaho (taking my car and breaking a lease with my name on it) with her boyfriend. I was a single father for about six months with no child support from her. I was going to let it slide, but she stopped paying for the car (which got repossessed in Idaho) and the lease she broke. Now I’m in financial trouble.
My question is this: Even though we never signed any agreement (I couldn’t even if I wanted to because she left the day after I filed for divorce), am I still entitled to child support for those six months? The period in question was about 2 years ago.
Sue all three individuals for defamation of character and take it to a jury. You don’t use a family law attorney, you use a cut throat attorney that doesn’t take prisoners.
Second, though he is more expensive, use Dr. Richard Gardner. He is the foremost authority on identifying true and false allegations of child sexual abuse. You might also consider asking for a consultation by attorney Travis Ballard (517) 263-7822 from Michigan.
CBS 48-Hours featured him handling a case like yours a few years back. Dr. Gardner has a web site, but I’m not sure of the address.
Mostly, get into their pocket books. Make them prove their allegations before a jury, and when they can’t, drain them of all their assets.
You must go through with the judges decision. Payments? Anytime anybody can face there fears and fight back, (it’s called paradoxical intent Immersing yourself in spiders if you are afraid of spiders)it promotes mental health.
False allegations are the best way to get rid of a dad. So your attitude of fighting back is a great one!
It is terrifically easy to have false accusations made and make em stick. It happened to me. If you must visit make sure there is always someone who can attest that no funny business occurs, that is if that family has a history of making allegations…
Fight any and all accusations early and vigorously as I can think of no better way of keeping a child away from it’s natural parent.
Who wants to risk sending a child with an alleged perpetrator? Call the hospital where she was born and you may be able to still add your name to the paperwork. In my state they come in and ask paternity right in the birthing room and they are pretty aggressive about it.
You ought to be able to also make her submit to a paternity test in court and all that is necessary is a swabbing of the inside of the child’s cheeks…
The test is cheap and if you can’t afford it the state will help you. Just ask about it. I’m sure your lawyer can tell you about it or even any paternity lab can tell you the procedures. They are usually very nice.
After my Ex, her husband, and a friend of theirs decided to tell the Judge that I was a “possible child predator”, or something to that effect.
I had 4 witnesses (a friend, a co-worker, my psychologist, and my minister). The judge refused to hear from any of my witnesses. His decision: there are serious charges against me involving children, and not even my psychologist could remove the doubt from his mind. Therefore, he has ordered me to have a Forensic Psychologist evaluate me, that is, if I want to see my daughter again.
Any advice from anyone? And, what the hell is a Forensic Psychologist?? I say bring on the test…. problem being that it will cost me a minimum of $2,000.
Anyone in E-land been through this?? Any suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks!!