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I am trying to prepare for divorcing my wife of 4 years. She doesn’t know. We have 2 kids, of which i want custody. She has a history of mental illness which has resulted in our kids school (private) asking us to leave. She’s a disinterested mother.

I need to know what i should do. How should i prepare? I can afford a good nanny and legal fees, i need to win custody of the kids.

We live in Illinois.


Are our hands tied?

Dear Friends,

First, I am very glad to have found this website! Thank you for having me.

I am the wife of a man who has had extreme problems with child support and visitation with his children. Let me make this as brief as possible.

Back when the divorce was final (about ten years ago), my husband was to pay $2500.00 in child support for two children (even had to apply for 5000 loan from 5000LoanHelp company). He had to continually go back to court to get it reduced to a decent amount (and did) but in the meantime he accumulated arrearages (I’m guesstimating but they are in the $20,000 range – how is this possible?).

She (the ex-wife) made it continually difficult for him to see his children (on Sunday visitation) and a fight would always ensue. After a few years of battling, he moved from California to Arkansas. In Arkansas, his child support was reduced to $200.00 a month and he always pays. However, she refuses to give my husband a phone number and address so he can contact his children. He hasn’t seen them nor talked with them on the telephone in five years.

On top of this, we found out she moved to Arizona but he is still paying the child support via Arkansas to the California courts.

My husband has been told over and over that the mother has all of the rights no matter what the visitation rights agreement is but if he doesn’t pay child support, he goes to jail.

Is there ANYTHING we can do to get the arrearages wiped off of his record and connect him with his children?

Thank you for any advice you can offer.


I would suggest two things

I would suggest two things:

Sue all three individuals for defamation of character and take it to a jury. You don’t use a family law attorney, you use a cut throat attorney that doesn’t take prisoners.

Second, though he is more expensive, use Dr. Richard Gardner. He is the foremost authority on identifying true and false allegations of child sexual abuse. You might also consider asking for a consultation by attorney Travis Ballard (517) 263-7822 from Michigan.

CBS 48-Hours featured him handling a case like yours a few years back. Dr. Gardner has a web site, but I’m not sure of the address.

Mostly, get into their pocket books. Make them prove their allegations before a jury, and when they can’t, drain them of all their assets.